At 38 years old, I’m far too old to walk around wearing T-shirts that make a statement.

If I’ve got something sarcastic, pithy or witty to say, I’m not going to stretch it across my chest and, besides, the days of wanting to draw attention to that part of my anatomy are long gone.

BUT….that doesn’t stop me from loving a good funny T-shirt (and wishing I were cool and/or young enough to wear one), like these ones at Snorg Tees.

Even the story behind this T-shirt site is funny. Check out their “about us” page.

I posted this on my “Runner’s Notes” blog, but…thought it might be good to post it here, too.

There’s a nice article in the latest Active.com E-newsletter I received.The article, “Are you Ready for a Lifestyle Change,” was written by Jayme Otto for Women’s Running magazine and tells the tale of three women who changed their lives by …well, choosing a different lifestyle, namely a healthier one.

Read it here.

I like that these women took charge of their lives and wish that more people realized that the key to weight loss lies in their own hands. I was one of those woman who fretted and worried and complained and whined and obsessed about my weight and my body. I filled journals with diatribes about how much I hated my body and wanted to lose weight.

One day it occurred to me that if I spent 1/2 as much time doing something about it (instead of just writing about it and wishing the weight away), I might actually see results.

And…boy, did I. Walking just an hour a day progressed to running and….in one summer — from January to September, I went from a size 20-something to a size 8, which is what I still am 10+ years later.

Seriously…the power to have the life you want is in your hands.

You don’t have to be a marathon runner…or even a runner. If you don’t exercise at all right now…you will see results just from walking an hour a day.

That’s all it takes. 1 hour a day.

Exhibit A:

With newborn niece in Feb.  ‘96        With same niece in Dec. ‘96

President Obama is paid a late night visit by all the former presidents. Some could find this offensive, so…if you’re easily offended, don’t click.

The funniest part in here is “Bill Clinton.” Hysterical!

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Three (um…four) things I’m loving this week:

1. Shamrock Shakes. Make no mistake, I truly despise McDonald’s and what they and their fast-food cohorts have done to America’s taste buds and waistlines, but every year I make it a point to stop there in March for a Shamrock Shake. At 415 calories for a small shake, it’s an indulgent treat, but no worse than your average frozen treat at D.Q.

2. Hallmark’s new Encouraging Kids product line. Sure, it’s a crafty plan to play on moms’ emotions and sell more cards…but…the messages behind the overpriced cardboard and envelopes are really beautiful.

Photo by Janet Campbell/Erie Times-News

3. March. Whether it comes roaring in a lion or not, I have come to absolutely love March. It’s an ugly month here in Erie — the trees are bare, the snow mounds are growing black mold and the streets are riddled with ice ruts and/or potholes, but…it’s also the month the sun and the birds return.

The absolute silence of my early-morning winter runs have recently given way to the happy chatter and singing of birds (real live birds!) …AND my morning runs have been ending with spectacular sunrises (March has THE best sunrises of the year!).

Photo by Greg Wohlford/Erie Times-News

4. Otter pups! Zoo president, Scott Mitchell, clued me into the birth of five…count ‘em, FIVE … river otters when I interviewed him for the zoo opening story two weeks ago, but..mama was still hiding them away, so we couldn’t get a photo.

This week, they came out of hiding. I can’t wait to see these little pups grow up this summer.

Read the story about the otter pups here.

Watch a video of the pups here.

Three things I’m not loving:

Hmmm…..the sun must have melted the mean, angry side of me…I’m not coming up with anything today. Write this one down, ladies & gents, Heather is actually at a loss for any sarcastic, snotty observations on life.

Busted! Now, I know…what the Webkinz do while the humans are away.

This is an actual scene from my living room that I walked into after a run this week:

yes…that’s “Curious George” — what did you expect?

My daughters’ school is celebrating Read Across America today by letting kids wear their jammies to school and snuggle up with their favorite Dr. Seuss books.

In honor of the Read Across America Day today, the annual National Education Association’s celebration of the birthday of famed children’s book author, Dr. Seuss, here are some of the good doctor’s best lines (in my humble opinion):

“Don’t give up! I believe in you all.
A person’s a person, no matter how small!
And you very small persons will not have to die
If you make yourselves heard! So come on, now, and TRY!”
— “Horton Hears a Who”

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better. It’s not.
— “The Lorax”

“The more that you read,
The more things you will know.
The more that you learn,
The more places you’ll go.”
— “I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!”

“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.”
— “Oh, the Places You’ll Go”

“Then the Grinch
thought of something
he hadn’t before.
What if Christmas,
he thought,
doesn’t come from a store.
What if Christmas,
perhaps, means a little bit more.”
— “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas”

“Today you are you,
that is truer than true.
There is no one alive
who is youer than you.”
— “Happy Birthday to You”

“It is fun to have fun
But you have to know how.”
— “The Cat in the Hat”

“Some days are yellow.
Some are blue.
On different days I’m different too.
You’d be surprised how many ways
I change on Different Colored Days.”
— “My Many Colored Days”

“On Purple Days I’m sad.
I groan. I drag my tail. I walk alone.
But when my days are Happy Pink
it’s great to jump and just not think.
Then come my Black Days.
MAD. And loud. I howl. I growl at every cloud.
Then comes a Mixed-Up Day.
And WHAM!
I don’t know who or what I am!
But it all turns out all right, you see.
And I go back to being…me.”
— “My Many Colored Days

“You’ll look up and down streets.
Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say,
‘I don’t choose to go there.’
With your head full of brains
and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down
any not-so-good street.”
— “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”

“Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!”
— “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”

Look what I found in the basement this weekend?

Yes…that would be my wedding dress circa 1994. Oy. Check out the poofy sleeves and that oh-so-popular lace bodice.

Obviously, I filled out the bodice (and, um, the rest of the dress) much better back then.

Don’t get me wrong…I’m perfectly happy to be swimming in that gown of satin, sequins, lace and beads.

I may be the only woman on earth who hopes she never fits into her wedding dress again. I think that dress was a size 20-something.

(At least I can say that I know Dan married me because he really loved me for me, right?)

When I discovered it in a plastic tote this weekend, I just couldn’t resist putting it on and wearing it around the house for awhile.

It’s completely trashed. One arm is ripped out on the inside (no doubt from raising my hands over my head, dancing like a fool); the lace on the bottom of the entire dress is filthy and black (from kicking off those high heeled shoes and letting the dress drag all over the ground); the train is ripped and can no longer be bustled (from folks stepping on it all night); there is a red stain down the front of the dress (from chugging Cold Duck straight from the bottle with my sister); there’s a burn mark on the left side (from the cigarette I was probably trying to hide from my mother).

Dan suggested we get it cleaned and boxed (even after I told him it was at least $100, possibly more).

I’m not going to get it cleaned. All those rips, stains, burns and dirt are testimony to a wedding day much enjoyed. It seems wrong to erase that.

I thought about throwing it out, but ended up tucking it back into that Rubbermaid box and sliding it under my bed.

How could I get rid of it? That dress seems a symbol of our marriage as much as it was back then — still beautiful and still important and valuable, even if it’s outdated, torn under the arm and stained in a few places.

Three things I’m loving this week

1. Poking fun @ Olympians. OK, OK…I know I preach endlessly about loving one another and accepting faults and not hurting other people by laughing at them, but…c’mon….the ice skaters and other Olympic competitors with what-were-they-thinking costumes have given us some real material to work with. I can’t decide which of these two photo collections I like best, so I’m posting both:

20 funniest figure skating faces

Funniest costumes

Michael Schmid, left, of Switzerland, and Errol Kerr, right, of Jamaica, soar through the air off a jump during ski cross training at Cypress Mountain at Cypress Mountain in Vancouver, British Columbia, Friday Feb. 19, 2010.  (AP  Photo/The Canadian Press, Darryl Dyck)

2. Olympic cross anything. It started (I think) with snowboard cross and has branched into ski cross in the 2010 games in Vancouver.  These events are  wild, crazy, jaw dropping, OMG, entertainment. If you’ve never seen a cross event — it’s when they unleash four skiers or four snowboarders onto the course all at once and they race to the finish.

At the risk of sounding like a prepubescent shaggy-headed skateboarder, it is wicked cool.  It’s just macho bravado.

Sports Illustrated magazine had a great article giving you a “look into the mayhem” that is ski cross.

BTW, ladies…if you’ve never bothered to pick up your guy’s copy of S.I. because you think it’s of no interest to you, give it a read. They have some of the best articles I have ever read in my life — stuff you’ll like even if you know nothing or care nothing about the sport or the athlete. I bought the subscription for Dan so he could get a free Steelers jacket (yes, I’m a sucker for free stuff) and I renewed it for me because I came to love the magazine.

One word of caution: S.I. just LOVES to get cute (and I’m sure they think clever) with the story formats in their big feature stories which can be both annoying and confusing, but…I’m a newspaper girl…I like to keep things simple and straightforward (and a little pithy).

3. Amazon.com deals on family movies. They’re offering up to 50% off popular family movies, even some of the newer ones like “Up” and classics like, “Fiddler on the Roof,” and “The Sound of Music.”

They’ve got a bunch of Blu-Rays on there, too, but…I don’t even know what that means let alone whether the prices really are a bargain…you be the judge. Check it out here.

Three things I’m not loving this week:

1. Chapped hands. Winter is not kind to my hands…currently, they are cracked and, in some places, bleeding. Last night, I stuck my hand over a jar of banana peppers to drain off some of the juice and tipped the jar over the sink to let it drain between my fingers…stupid, stupid, stupid mistake. It still stings. The more I wash or submerge them in hot water (no matter how much lotion I slather on after), the worse they get.

The silver lining behind this painful problem? I can’t possibly be expected to submerge my hands in hot water to do dishes or laundry, so…the husband’s been handling those chores.

2. Ice skating, ice dancing, ice tap, ice ballet, ice yoga … If it involves an ice arena, choreography, hokey music and absurd costumes, I really want no part of it.

I know millions love it; I’m not one of them. It’s so sweet and corny it makes my teeth hurt.

It should be noted that I hate American Idol (and all shows like it), too … so take my snarky opinion for what it’s worth.

3. Winter weight. This snow needs to clear out before I bust out of my pants. What is it about winter and snow that makes us want to stay indoors, stuff our faces and veg on the couch? Oh..right…it’s because it SUCKS to go outside. At least it’s almost March and February will soon be a cold, dark memory.

We can use a little humor and…a little reminder of summer, so…check out this video — a Bonus Scene from Erie’s “Extreme Makeover” this summer.

Enjoy the views of summer in Erie….some day it will come again. And, having lived through another snowy winter, we’ll all appreciate it SO much more, right?

So yesterday’s whiny post is a pitiful example of how Eeyore-ish I can be.

Sometimes whine so much I want to smack myself.

I can’t stand whiners. They exhaust me; they suck the life out of me.

I’m sorry I unloaded my baggage on you yesterday and, honestly, I’m tempted to delete the post. It would be easy…couple of mouse clicks is all it takes…and voila! yesterday never happened.

But, I’m going to leave that post up because it’s where I was at yesterday (one thing you can’t accuse me of is not being authentic). And, it’s a reminder of the whiny, woe-is-me, Heather I don’t want to be.

Today, fortunately, I’m in a happier place.

I lead a charmed life: Everyone in my family is healthy; I live in a beautiful home; I have a great husband; I grew up with two parents and four siblings and while we weren’t rich, we didn’t want for much; I am one of the few who can actually say I have a job I truly love.

Seriously, what do I have to whine about?

(Sorry if I sucked the life out of you yesterday).