I just saw this in the SNL sports special the other night & could not stop laughing.

Enjoy!

Three things I’m loving this week:

1. Smooth sailing, er, driving. It occurred to me yesterday that it’s been weeks since we’ve had to deal with crappy driving conditions and, for that, especially in Erie in January/February, I am truly grateful. (knock on wood!).

2. “Cougar Town.” I hated this new Courtney Cox ABC TV show the first couple of times I saw it. I even counted it among the “things I’m not loving” in October.

But because I’m too lazy to get up and retrieve the remote control from my sleeping husband’s hand, I’ve watched several episodes and have come to love it. (This is the same way I came to love “The Office,” by the way). It’s a quirky show — think “Scrubs” — that can take some getting used to, but once you get the humor….it’s positively hysterical.

If you, like me, wrote it off early on, you might want to give it another chance.

3. Lap swimming. When I was pregnant with Kelly I swam a mile three times a week before work. It was relaxing and made me feel light despite the watermelon growing in my belly.

Once the girls came, I got away from swimming. It’s not the quickest of exercise endeavors (at least not for me) and requires going to the gym, bullying my way into a lane, getting wet, showering, getting dry, etc., etc. Aerobics class or throwing on a pair of running shoes and taking off out the door is just easier and quicker.

But, last night I swam laps while Kelly was in swim class and was reminded how entirely peaceful swimming is.

No one can talk to you. No blaring music. No shouting instructor. No jockeying for floor space. No sweating (some might, I don’t). It’s quiet. It’s cool. I can’t see much except the lane line below me. I can’t think about much (unless I want to lose count of what lap I’m on). I just breathe, count constantly (one, one, one, one, one) and glide. Ahhhh…..

Three things I’m not loving this week

1. Plantar fasciitis. Who knew this common runner’s problem has been the cause of many of my foot, heel, arch issues in the last several years. The folks at Hertle & Brown Physical Therapy did.

It hit me hard in the left foot on during my run Sunday. It’s something that’s happened off & on for years now.  After just one treatment session at Hertle & Brown yesterday, my foot already feels much better.  (And that’s something I’m loving this week).

So long high heels…it was fun while it lasted.

2. Houseplants in winter. Is it just me…or do your houseplants attempt suicide every winter, too? I have two giant potted plants that are dropping leaves like a freaking oak tree in October.

I know they’re upset that they are no longer soaking up the sunshine and fresh air on the front porch, but…honestly, we’re all wilting in the dark cold of another Erie winter…just deal with it. (And stop littering all over my living room floor or you’re going to taking a one-way ride on the big green garbage truck).

3. John Edwards = monumental liar. Need I say more?

Erie Times-News columnist, Monica Lewis (who also writes the “Funny Girl” column for Her Times magazine) tackles a hairy topic in her “Sass in the City” column in today’s Showcase entertainment section.

Read it here.

Basically, Monica tells the tale of a guy who was all into her…until he found out she was a cat person.

And, then he said, “I just like dog women better. They need me more, they do more to try and make me happy, and they pretty much let me run the relationship.”

What a dog, eh?

Monica goes on to explain that research backs up the dog’s stance. Turns out “cat people actually do tend to be independent and self-directed, much like their feline friends. They are also more creative, philosophical and nontraditional than dog people.”

As for dog people, they are “more social and extroverted and sensitive. They are also more agreeable and eager to please.”

I’m not sure where those die-hard, love-everything-with-fur people fall.

If you’ve been reading my blog for the past couple years, you know which camp I fall firmly into. I’m a cat lady..all the way.

I like dogs…they’re cute and all, but their loyalty, undying devotion and constant need for attention has always been, well, annoying to me. I want them to get some self-respect, a spine, a little cat-itude, if you will.

I don’t do needy.

Go ahead, buy — and eat — those Girl Scout cookies without a morsel of guilt. Why? Take a look and see what a cookie can do:

Learned a valuable (and, likely, expensive) lesson today. Don’t take your Blackberry to the gym…or at least to Body Pump where you can drop a 5 lb. weight on it.

Full disclosure: I’m ripping this right off lemondrop.com. (Note: I’m reposting a few of the jokes instead of linking because some of the jokes could be considered offensive. If you’re not easily offended, feel free to read the whole enchilada here.)

Some of the best new iPad jokes:

1. Is there some kind of alternative tablet I can use in case I have to go swimming?

2. How will it stand up to other tablets if I pour a test tube full of blue water on it?

3. Will the 16-, 32- and 64-gig varieties be referred to as “light,” “regular,” and “super”?

4. Sometimes I leave food in my laptop bag. Can you make one that makes it smell like a light, spring rain?

5. I’m a cheerleader. Is it possible that the tablet could come flying out in the middle of a routine?

6. Can I still wear white pants? Will it make them look bulky?

7. Will my boyfriend be able to go to the Apple Store and buy it for me without being embarrassed?

….Your car keys

A friend sent me this & it makes sense:

“This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator: Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.

Think of it this way — It’s a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house. It works if you park in your driveway or garage.

If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the would-be criminal won’t stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see what all the noise is about.”

Three things I’m loving this week:

1. Mini Blizzards at D.Q. I took the girls to Dairy Queen the other night to celebrate Kelly’s 1/2 birthday (a perfectly valid reason to eat ice cream in January) and saw a sign for the new “mini” Blizzards. The girls each had one and they’re the perfect size for kids (about 1 cup or so of ice cream) and are nicely priced at just $1.99 each.

Photo by Rob Engelhardt/Erie Times-News

2. This story in today’s Erie Times-News about rival inner-city basketball teams promoting peace.

3. Winter-hardy birds. Doesn’t it make you happy just to see or hear birds this time of year? I feel sorry for them. I question their sanity. I wonder why they don’t fly somewhere warmer. But, I truly appreciate them more now than I do in June.

Three things I’m not loving

1. The iPad. Oh, sure I’m sure it’s a groundbreaking piece of uber-cool technology, but the name? Worst. Name. Ever.

2. A night without Bella. My sweet baby girl — and personal heating unit — is off to the vet tomorrow for “the operation.” I think it’s going to be a long, cold night for both of us.

3. Citizens United V. Federal Election Committee. This recent Supreme Court decision about campaign financing is monumental. If you think politicians are corrupt now….you ain’t seen nothing yet.

Tuesdays are “I tried it Tuesdays” where I’ll tell you about something I recently tried — a movie, an activity, a restaurant, etc.

Yes, yes…I know it’s Wednesday again…. give me a break, eh?

Today’s topic: Hot hands hand warmers

What are they: Little pouches of warmth.

Come again? They’re these little baggies full of…well, I don’t know…but you shake them up and they get warm.

What do you do with the “warm baggies” full of God knows what? Stick them in mittens/gloves, in your shoes, in your shirt….or wherever you need a little extra warmth.

Why I tried them: Winter running = freezing cold hands. Freezing cold hands = showering with your sports bra on. Why, you ask? (or maybe you don’t, but I’m going to tell you anyway) because…freezing cold hands and the loss of opposable thumbs means you can’t get a sweat-soaked sports bra off. No joke.

How they work: We covered this — I haven’t a clue. Here’s what the package says: “All-natural ingredients. Safe. Natural Heat. No Odor. Air-Activated.” Contents say: Iron powder, water, salt, activated charcoal and vermiculite. So…there you have it.

To make them hot, you simply remove them from the outer protective package. Then, shake the pouch to mix and activate contents. Takes 15 to 30 minutes for them to heat up.

What they’re good for: A little bit of warmth to hold onto for any outdoor activities — shoveling, running, skiing, sledding, watching a football game, etc.

How hot do they get? Not so hot that you can’t hold them comfortably. The package says the average temperature is 126 to 144 degrees Farenheit, but…that sounds much hotter than they feel.

Do they work? Yes…and for 10 HOURS. They work so well, that on a recent long run in 18-degree temperatures, I had to take them out of my mittens (I wear them between a pair of stretchy gloves & a pair of big mittens) because they were making my entire upper body sweat.

Where can you get them? Home Depot, Lowes and most mass retailers.  Look for them hanging in all the little things they sell at the pegboards near the registers or…check the sporting goods department at WalMark, Kmart, etc.

Cost: A buck or two.

Can they be reused? No…but they last for 10 hours, so you can always pass them on.

Other: In case you missed it earlier, they do take 15 to 30 minutes to heat up…so if you’re going out sledding at 1 p.m., crack your Hot Hands open at 12:30.

I had this great idea this weekend to paint one wall in my kitchen with magnetic paint.

See, we got this new fancy (and very expensive) fridge that is black and, apparently, easily scratched by magnets. So, we’ve been trying to find other places to display the kid’s school papers or notices, etc.

I used to have a dry erase board by the door that was magnetic, but it had gotten old and ugly and I replaced it with a plain dry erase board (not magnetic).

Staring at this board the other day I had a thought…why not just paint that whole little wall with magnetic paint? Then, I could cover it with dry erase paint and it would be both magnetic and dry erase.

Did you even know they sold such paints?

They do, but..it’s not cheap. The magnetic paint was $20 at Home Depot (for a quart) and the dry erase paint was even more.

I bought the magnetic paint and figured I could do the dry erase paint later. But, after reading the instructions, I can see that the magnetic paint is to be used as a primer…and will require a top coat of paint.

So, I may just paint it…and then add some sticky-back sheets of whiteboard that I bought online last year.

Not sure how this whole project is going to turn out, but…I have a vision.

And…even if it turns out poorly, no biggie…we’ll be ripping that kitchen apart in the next year or two anyway.

Nothing like a little winter home improvement project to keep you busy and take your mind off the lousy weather outside, eh?

What have you been putting off?