Her Times
By Pam Parker Erie Times-News staff blogger
Pam Parker's blog takes on everything from women's fun to momisms to lifestyles around Lake Erie and real estate. She'll take you down Memory Lane, up through sports and fun and off the grid. Get ready for laughs — it's more than just Pam. It's Pamdemonium.   Read more about this blog.
 Phone: 814-870-1821
Posted: November 25th, 2013
The new washer — I think it’s named HAL

photo 2You get accustomed to old appliances. The noises they make — the way they operate.

I’ve had only three washers in my laundry odyssey. They were all pretty similar — white with big agitators inside.

And then we got this Maytag beauty. It’s not the space-age model that front loads and looks like it belongs in an Architectural Digest laundry room.

But it has a door that locks so you can’t open it. 

That makes me think of HAL from “2001: A Space Odyssey.” You remember the infamous exchange:

Dave: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL:  I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Later, HAL adds, “This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.” 

I think the washer agrees. I mean I understand why the oven is locked when it is self-cleaning — just touching the door gives you a sense of how hot it is in there. But the washer?

It locks because it doesn’t want you messing with its automatic sensors. It offers no choices for small, medium or large loads. You don’t have to tell it how much is in there. It decides how much water to add. I don’t like this. And you avoid the center — there is no more big agitator that gets socks stuck underneath it, but it has a sensor-laden center.

And it makes odd noises. The old washer had a nice clickety clack I understood, and I knew when it was changing cycles. You could hear it rooms away. This one sounds like it’s breathing and taking flight.

In a forum about new washers, someone posted that their washer sounded like “the original transporter from Star Trek.” That’s pretty funny. And I have heard that noise as well.

It does clean the clothes, and my husband prefers that I stay away from loading the washer anyway. You remember the crayon episode last week if you read this blog.

We have other appliances that are aging. My mother’s waffle iron takes heat from my family every time I haul it out for breakfast. My kids and husband make fun of me, but I am not replacing it.  I can’t imagine a new one offering the 40 years of time-tested flavor that this one does. I reminded everyone that I used my grandmother’s waffle iron until the cord gasped its last breath with a threatening ZZZT!

This waffle iron does not speak. Or lock. Or groan. Or breathe. And I can open its pod bay doors anytime to check on the mission.

Pam Parker is the editor of Lake Erie LifeStyleHer Times and House to Home at the Erie Times-News in Erie, Pa. She is mom to three, stepmom to three and GramPam to one.

 

 

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