If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. ~Vincent Van Gogh
As of late my hardest challenge has been silencing that voice. However, that voice does not tell me I cannot paint, that voice tells me me to give up…that I can’t do this. “Small” has never been my thing, basically large tasks are hard for me because they take small steps. My weight is the perfect example of this… My ideal weight seems forever away, 5 pounds is progress but very small step in a series of hundreds of small steps. It is hard for me to accept that I need to take things one step at a time, especially when the reward seems so far away.
When I am uncomfortable I make jokes…humor is my comfort mask. Sometimes that mask causes a lot of self-doubt, I make a joke and then I think about how true what I said was and how truly unfunny my joke was. This experience has been very hard for me so far but looking at me all you will see is the smile I put on. I never want people around to see just how unhappy I have been, so I hide behind the humor. The other day I was asked what my goal weight was and i thought about it and came up with a rough number, but in coming up with that number I realized I want…no I need to lose 220 pounds. This thought made me very uncomfortable so I cracked the joke that not only do I need to lose a persons, I need to lose an obese person. Everyone laughed, even me…but inside I wanted to cry because that made being thin seem even farther away.
So my small step for this week is to shut out that negative voice, to prove myself wrong, to lose that extra person and with her all the negative and self-doubting thoughts. I CAN DO THIS AND I WILL!
You can do it! People are cheering you on and even small steps are worth celebrating. Don’t give up!
Kelly- you can do this. Just think positive. Every little bit is a big accomplishment. Just remember stay positive.
Losing weight is not easy. I can definitely speak to that! Take it one day at a time. I HATED working out until I joined F2F…now I love it! I truly cannot believe that I can say that about exercising. Once you start seeing the results of your hard work I promise you it will be a little easier to push through…YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Kelly,
I know you can because you are stronger than you think! You always doubt yourself but I know the true you! Great job and we are all behind you!
Hi, Kelly. You’ll come to realize that all of life is a bunch of small steps, really. When I started in January and decided to lose 100 pounds, I felt overwhelmed, too. But losing 5 pounds is easy. You just do it over and over until you hit your goal. Your sense of humor will get you through. Be happy with yourself and the change you started.
You can do this, and when you reach that goal and look back you’ll wonder why you ever doubted it. Good luck!
Kelly-I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you! When I found out you had been chosen for the contest my heart went out to you. Your posts are so heartfelt and I just wanted to let you know that the whole family is cheering you on. We might not have always been close but we are family and I’m here for you! Weight loss is an everyday struggle and yoyo-ing as I do I can understand kind of where you are coming from…it does help to have friends there and support of others. Oh and when you feel like “cheating” call someone!
Love you Miss Kelly and Congrats for doing so well so far! Keep up the great work!!
Kelly, you are so wonderful! I really believe that you’ll be able to accomplish all that you want to, one day at a time. Do it for yourself and keep that great sense of humor….YOU CAN DO IT! What did Dorie say in Finding Nemo? Just keep swimming….:)