I don’t know where to begin… I am feeling frustrated. I have never wanted anything so much in my entire life. I am trying so hard to do the best I possibly can, but it just doesn’t seem like enough. I work out 6 days a week, and I love it, but I’m just not SEEING results. I know Rome wasn’t built in a day but come on! I guess I just have my expectations set too high. I am hoping I can get my spirits back up as quickly as possible. I’m not used to letting things bring me down, but it can get to a point where you just have to take a step back and accept your feelings and try to make sense of it all.
Sometimes people just need a chance to vent. I guess that’s what I’m doing this week. I want to scream, cry and laugh all at the same time. I am so good at pretending everything is okay, but I hurt. Being called fat hurts. Having people use weight to judge you as a person hurts. Living life afraid of never accomplishing anything hurts. I am so tired of being the joke and my weight shouldn’t be the punch line. I am NOT a joke, I am NOT worthless, and I WILL succeed in life. I can barely type this with the tears running down my face, but it feels good to let that all out. I am done trying to find approval through others. I am doing this for me, my health, and my life.
“Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world.” – Marilyn Monroe
Casie, I know how you feel. I’ve spent all my life dealing with this stuff… I’ve tried constantly to lose weight, yet I never knew what to do right, and I always failed. I actually gave up… I just sat in my room all day every day for two years… Anxiety, depression, developing health issues… Ever since I started this program, I’ve only felt better (aside from this idiotic stomach crap). Yet, when I finally got into this weight loss thing, I thought, “well, I’m in the right place… It should all fall off fast.” I thought I’d be down maybe 30 lbs by now… Yet I’ve learned that such just isn’t possible. It sucks, it really does, yet I do what I can. You too… Just know that every pound, every inch is a massive achievement, and the fact that you’ve decided to take a stand to fight what hurts you is amazing. You’re doing so good… Don’t ever give up. And as for those idiots who think that they can destroy us with mere words, don’t listen to them. Really, they’re going to call us fat? Really? People who belittle others for the issues they’re dealing with have nothing good within them and will lose out in the long run. t used to destroy me, and I would just cry so much. Now, I know that I’m stronger than that, and if people think they can look at me and pick upon my first flaw, they obviously have some issues. Don’t let anyone get to you. You’re amazing, and strong, and beautiful, and anything anyone says shouldn’t ever matter. If you feel good, if you know in your heart that you’re doing the best you can, then that’s all hat matters. :3
Casie – I wish I could give you a hug. You’re doing so well. We get used to seeing shows like “Biggest Loser” and think we should be able to lose 10 pounds a week, just like that – they do it in an hour! Well, we know that they are working out 8 hours a day with a trainer and are having lo-cal meals prepared and served to them. In the real world, weight comes off slowly and steadily if we stay on plan. There are rude, stupid people in the world. Rita has a great reply above, so I won’t bother repeating. Just know this – YOU will be thinner one day soon. THEY will still be stupid and ignorant. Don’t ever let yourself be measured by your size – not by yourself (it is self defeating) or by others (their opinion doesn’t matter.) Just hang in there, it gets better, it gets easier, and you will see results. You can do this, mentally and physically.
Just keep doing what you’re doing Casie. Like you said,”Rome wasn’t built in a day”. You’ll soon see the fruits of your labor. Eat healthy (no cheating), work out, but most of all enjoy yourself. I’m your biggest fan and I know you can do this. Keep up the good work. Love you.
Paul
Casie – You are truly one of the most amazing people I know! Please don’t EVER tell yourself or let anyone else tell you differently. You inspire me, on pretty much a daily basis, to stay motivated and focused on my goals. Nothing worth having is easily attainable…hang in there. There is no doubt in my mind that you will succeed in whatever you set out to do.
Love you always,
the other Casey