I must say, time isn’t going any slower… Yet the days do just keep getting better. Every day I wake up with a big smile on my face, which only wavers when I move about to shake the soreness from the previous day off. Ah, that constant soreness… It is diminishing with every workout I do. Ah, yet I did kick my own butt this week. Four classes in one day, three of them being directed by Todd? I earned by sore muscles well.
It’s amazing, you know, how I’ve been able to keep at this the way I have. Before all of this started, I would wake up, either depressed, angry, or just dreading the day to come. I would shove whatever food I could find in my face for comfort, (which I never really found with said food), and I would just… Exist. Everything I tried seemed to fail, and I only blamed myself and hid myself away from the world. Before this all started, I was a dreadful person, I think. Yet now, I awaken, leap out of bed, and I’m always ready to head to the gym. I push myself to my very limits each and every day, and to find that my limits continue to exapnd, that I can do so much more, is exciting.
I’m a happier person, even when I’m so exhausted that I can barely walk after workouts. The soreness is welcomed. As I’ve been told to see it, I am my own artisit, and I am the one to sculpt my own body, to work my muscles into what I want them to be. Being a lover of art, such a view is wonderful. I love to draw, and getting an image correct is always tough, especially for a perfectionist. It takes time, effort, concentration, and yet you need to know when to take a break and relax a bit before jumping back in. That s how I’m viewing this competition. Ah, actually, I view it for the way I want to be in general. Not just physically… I’m working hard on the mental, as well. I don’t hesitate as much as I once did. I don’t let little things get to me. My anxiety no longer runs my life… I do. While I’ll always have slight setbacks, (which will happen, because I’m only human), I’m determined to keep pushing forward, and to never give up.
I always used to give in when it came to anything daunting, especially when it included physical straing and whatnot. No more. The old Rita is getting the boot… The new me is bursting forth.