I’m sad to think that this competition is going to end soon. I’m already seeing the other girls less frequently than I did over the summer, and I’m afraid I’ll see them even less after the competition. Hopefully we’ll still run into each other at the gym. We’ll always have zumba, right!?

It’s kind of amazing how changing your size can have such a good effect on your life. I started to lose weight in January, and since then I have lost about 45 pounds, which feels amazing! I still have a lot more to lose, but I’m really proud of what I have done so far. Physically, I feel sooo much better. I don’t get winded walking up just one flight of stairs, and I don’t dread talking walks with my husband. At one point, I wasn’t able to sleep on my back because it actually hurt me, so I had to lay on my side or my stomach. Fortunately, I don’t have that limitation anymore. I can sleep anyway I want.

I still am leary to try a lot of new things because I’m not sure if I’ll be physically able to do it, or if there is a weight limit, or size limit. Typically, I try to err on the side of caution, and if I think there is a chance that I might not fit, I won’t bother to try. I would tell people that I prefer to ride rides alone because I wasn’t sure if my butt would fit with anyone else, or I’ll make a fat joke to alleviate tension so it’ll be easier to laugh at the situation if i don’t fit. There are a lot of things that run through my head about my size that typical people probably don’t think about with regards to their own size. I’m not trying to be Debby Downer…I’m just saying, this is just some stuff that I have to think about! I know that if I keep going and continue to get healthier I won’t have worries like that anymore. I also know I’ve already come pretty far, but dang, that finish line still seems pretty far away!

I’ve picked up the pieces of my toppled balancing act. A little rearranging was in order, but I think I’ve found a nice way to balance everything out again. I have a little bit of time for everything now, and I’m feeling pretty good about it. I’ve even improved my mile time again, only by 5 seconds, but it’s still a step in the right direction! I’m going to have to start running outside more now to get ready for that 5K, it’s less than 3 weeks away!

Earlier today while Rita, and Casie, and I were outside running up and down the hill, and basically getting our butts kicked by Todd, a Flab to Fab member came outside and approached us. She told us that she thought we were doing a great job and that she can see a difference in all of us. That was such a great feeling It is so nice when people recognize the work you have put in, and they go out of their way to acknowledge you for it. We have all been working so hard, and it’s nice that people notice it. Especially since, let me tell you, all it takes is one person with one stupid comment to bring you back down to feeling bad about yourself (even if the comment wasn’t really meant to be hurtful). Maya Angelou said “
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Words can have a lot of power, and the feeling they leave can stick with you for a LONG time. We try to teach kids that “Sticks and stone may break your bones…” but words can hurt worse than stones at times.

So, positive words are always welcome, but please keep negative ones to yourself, because once they escape your mouth, there is no way to get them back. A little encouragement goes a long way, and I think it helps to build up some good karma points

I did a 12 minute mile this week! I was so excited that the natural high seemed to last all day!  It was a great feeling, and a big accomplishment for me.  I’m slowly but surely preparing for that 5K!  Running outside where the pretty much anyone can see me still makes me nervous, but hopefully after I run a few more 12 minute miles, I might be feeling a little more confident.

My life this week has turned into a balancing act.  School is back in session, which means my life picks up the pace because I work with kids in school.  I’m trying to figure out how to balance my time so that I have time for everything.  I need time for work, working out, preparing meals, spending time with my husband (who has a birthday this week!) spending time with my family and friends, and of course, at some point I need to sleep!  I haven’t been to the gym this week as much as I want to, but I’m hoping to settle into a good schedule that allows me at least a few hours a week to work out.  A guilty feeling starts to roll over me on days that I don’t workout, and I don’t like it!

I think committing to a vigorous workout is kind of like waiting in line for a huge and terrifying roller coaster.  It’s something I really want to do.  I know I’ll get up there eventually…eventually I’ll take that big step onto the ride, but for now, I’m waiting for that moment.  I’m building up some energy, watching other people on the ride to see how they do, and what their reactions are.  The closer I get to the ride, the more anxiety I feel, and I might even have doubt about whether or not I’ll be able to follow through and actually get ON the ride, it’s looks intense!  Then it’s my turn. It’s time to put up or shut up.  If I don’t get on the ride I’ll never know that amazing that I might have had if I had taken the ride.  I think I’m going to get on the ride. Good thing I love roller coasters   I might have some second thoughts while I’m sweating my butt off, and I might swear that I’ll never do it again, but I know that after all is said and done I’ll be glad that I did it.

So all in all, I think I’m ready for another big push (the first one was making it though the first half of the competition).  I started with the mini roller coasters, time for the big ones.  I want to come out on the other end of this competition feeling awesome and accomplishing things that I wasn’t able to before I started this.  I’m really feeling great…I’m feeling very motivated, and to quote one of my teammates/competitors “I’m just brimming with love and rainbows and sunshine” (Very well put Adria!)  If there was ever a time for me to meet my goals, this is it!

Since we’ve completed four weeks of this competition, I kinda thought maybe we were past the point of being sore. I was wrong!  We are taking classes and doing exercises that still leave me aching for the next few days.  It’s a good ache though, and I still think the pain is worth it.

My life style has had a big change in the past four weeks. Everything from the way I eat, to the activities I do has changed.  I eat salads everyday.  I eat fruits and vegetables everyday.  I workout everyday.  I drink plenty of water every day.  When my husband and I talk about spending time together, we talk about kayaking and a picnic instead of going out to dinner and a movie (I’m pretty excited that we might go kayaking next week!).  We’ll take a walk, or a bike ride.  All of these little steps have added up and helped me make the progress I have made, and I’m proud of it!  I’m very grateful for the support that I have from everyone, especially my husband!

I’m one of those people who will go shopping for clothes, and if I don’t see what I want in my size I’ll decide to buy one size smaller because I have every intention of fitting into it “someday”.  Or I’ll buy clothes without trying them on, and when I get home and realize they are too small, I’ll keep them, because “someday” I might fit into it!  So far, this illusive “someday” hasn’t arrived, but I think I can see it in the distance!

When I was told we were already doing our second round of measurements, I was really nervous about it.  I figured there was no way I would see any results after just two weeks.  I’m happy to say that I am wrong!  It wasn’t a HUGE difference, but its progress and that’s all I’m asking for!  As soon as I left the gym I had to call my husband and tell him how excited I was about it…I’m not sure that he really understood anything I said because I was probably talking a mile a minute, but he could tell I was excited so he acted accordingly.

I’m starting to look forward more and more to each workout, as much as I look forward to seeing the other girls at the workout.  It’s awesome to be working with other girls who have a common goal, and we are able to support each other to achieve it.  I’ve also been very lucky to have many supportive friends and family through this challenge who also want to see me succeed (and are willing to bust my butt with additional workouts).

I’m in a very happy place right now, and I plan to stay here for a while longer .

I’m starting to feel the momentum of our workouts build up behind me.  Working out so hard has motivated me to be more careful with what I am eating because I don’t want to negate the work I’ve done.  I’ve even started to look forward to the workouts!

The pain that I feel after a workout is so worth it!  It shows me that I did the work, and I can feel the proof of it.  I might feel like dying during the workout, but afterwards I feel so good about myself!

Thin it to Win it is a chance of a lifetime! There is no way I can afford to take off six months to even think about applying to be on “The Biggest Loser,” not to mention how much I would miss my husband, family and friends!  So, being chosen to be a contestant in “Thin it to Win it” is giving me a chance to better myself without having to put my life completely on hold.  I can’t even begin to explain how excited I was when Lisa called to tell me that I had been chosen!  I know that I have to take full advantage of this opportunity,or I’ll have some major regrets (and a lot of people would be angry with me for blowing such a great chance that could have been given to someone else!)

Our first official meeting at Flab to Fab was exciting, unnerving, and eye opening all at the same time.  After doing the fitness tests, I see that I have plenty of room for improvement, and the beginnings of a plan on how to make the improvements.  The body measurements weren’t as painful as I thought they were going to be, although I still tried to avert my eyes. I know the numbers weren’t going to be good, so why torture myself!? I’ll look at the numbers at the end after I’ve lost weight and toned up!  It could have been much more dejecting if Lisa and Shanna hadn’t been so supportive and reassuring throughout the whole process.

In setting my goals for this fitness challenge, I am trying to be a realist, and at the same time I want to set a goal that will challenge me.  I would love it if at the end of this challenge I would be at least 60 pounds lighter, able to complete a 5K, and hopefully, winning “Thin it to Win it”!

I have a place, there is nothing special about the way it looks, four walls, a ceiling and a floor.  What makes my place special is what goes on inside those walls.  Women’s lives are changed!  They meet new friends, feel better about themselves, and mold the outside to match what’s on the inside.

I had an idea to help some very special people, people with the desire for a healthier lifestyle.  The idea was my version of the “Biggest Loser.” My version because no one gets kicked out.  One hundred and seventy four women wrote and stated their case as to why they should be among the chosen six. Thirty four were asked to come for a meet and greet … the plan was to pick the six to participate.  After meeting them all, the six became seven, seven more were given a free 3 month membership, and the remaining 160 women are being given the option to join the gym at half price.  All the women are special and have a different story.  After reading all the submissions I knew I couldn’t walk away from any of them.

My place is Flab to Fab, nothing special about the building or what it looks like, all the magic is on the inside. It’s a judgment free zone.  Women from 17 to 70 are there to better themselves physically, the magical part happens when they look in the mirror and like what they see.  With hard work and determination you can mold the body, the mind and the heart on the other hand it takes time and encouragement.  To all those women who submitted entries I say: “That was the first step, now take the second and use the half price membership.”  Make a new friend, feel better about yourself, get healthier, and be there for yourself and the ones you love.

– Lisa Desko, Owner, Flab to Fab

Thin It to Win It Participants: