You get all kinds of stuff in your email inbox when you write for a newspaper. This just arrived from the marketing firm for a new app that allows users to “bump” phones and determine another’s STD status.

The phrasing the press release used was that the app answered the question, “Is it safe to date?”

I’m confused. Dating, back when I was a kid shortly after the dinosaurs died off, meant getting to know each other and deciding whether or not you wanted to go on another date. It didn’t mean “hooking up.” But I guess in this decade, the two terms are interchangeable?

Given that, if you want to have all of your possible paramour’s medical information right up front, this app is made for you.

MedXSafe is a new feature of the MedXCom Patient app. And the selling point is that the clearance is given only by their medical doctor. Relax. It’s HIPAA compliant and doctor approved and comes straight from your medical records, so there’s no fudging the truth. Here’s the irony: It’s existence also assumes  the obvious. You don’t know the person well enough to trust him in the first place to give you a straight answer about possible STDs if asked forthrightly.

How does it work? It uses “bump” technology. All you have to do is bump phones and be assured that the person across from you is disease free and ready to go.

And there’s more! It also exchanges email and telephone number to make that memorable night go even that much easier.

But here’s where I got the real chuckle when reading this press release. I quote, “(MedXSafe) is helping college students, responsible adults and divorced singles learn if the person they meet is free of sexually transmitted diseases.”

How did college kids get lumped in with responsible adults and divorcees?”